some brilliant remarks

1. Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh at you or pity you.
   
   
2. When someone says, "I feel so stupid"...
   It's okay to feel what you are.
   
   
3. When someone says, "Hey, you wanna hear a joke?"...
   It's okay, you're a joke all by yourself.
   
   
4. When someone manages to solve a problem...
   Looks like I overestimated the number of your brain cells.
   
   
5. When someone says, "I feel so stupid" or something similar...
   That's an understatement.
   
   
6. When someone tells you, "John is so ugly!"...
   Gee, you remind me of him.
   
   
7. Someone has a weird or funny name...
   Gee, your parents certainly have a weird sense of humour.
   
   
8. When someone says, "I don't know how to do this."...
   Ah, I'm not surprised.
   
   
9. When someone asks, "What's happening?!"...
   With your IQ, I don't think you can understand.
   
   
10. You mean you don't know I've a dog?! Didn't you look in the mirror?!?! *give a shocked look*
    
    
11. Hey, what a coincidence! You've the same name as my dog!
    
    
12. Other than being disgusting, irritating, stupid, smelly, [name all the bad stuff you can think of], etc., etc... you're actually quite okay. .
    
    
13. When someone asks, "Do you think this dress is nice?"...
    Please don't make me lie.
    
    
14. When someone expresses frustatedly, "I'm so stupid!"...
    Being honest is a good thing.
    
    
15. Ask someone who can't drive, "Hey, are you free on Saturday? Can you send me to [some place]??" Then, before he gets the chance to reply, you say, "Oh, so sorry, I forgot... you *CAN'T* drive." (my personal favourite...)
    
    
16. Gee, the dress she's wearing sure looks nice... but NOT on her.
    
    
17. When someone asks, "Why can't I do this?"...
    Maybe it's inheritance.
    Maybe it's in your genes.
    
    
18. When someone says, "Hey, let me tell you a joke"...
    HA HA HA HA HA! VERY FUNNY!

random quote

"Please don't bother switching off your phones during my tutorial class. Just let them ring. Tutorials are supposed to be fun. But if you want to talk like Ah Beng please go outside and talk."

(K.Y. NG 2009)

(wtf...=.=...i swear... that's what the lecturer said...)

OMG THE ALIENS ARE COMINGGGGGGG!!!!!!

28 years ago, they came... and now... they are coming... for me...

No I'm not lying, they have come. And they are capturing me away. God knows when and where will they be taking me... T_T

I can hear their footsteps, drawing closer as I hide here, right under the fallen debris. This place has been my sanctuary, but I really do not know how much longer can it hold.

From here, I see a sign... and It says

but I have absolutely no idea whether they would take notice of it.

And even if they did, the humans that I know won't let me off so easily.

Why did I have to contract this virus?

Why did my DNA have to change?

Am I human... or... otherwise...

Somebody SAVE me!!!

The name... Wikus van der Merwe...

The place... DISTRICT 9...

How to go... drive car to cathay cineplex damansara... entrance through the cinema...

It's Peter Jackson btw... the guy who brought us LOTR... and I'm so so so certain that this will be another great hit...XD

Nuffnang pleaseeeee let me win... T_T

absinthlutely addicted...

no its not chemistry... its just that... I

Had a great night yesterday. So i just decided to blog bout it. nothing much actually.

We started the night by...er...waiting...=.='

yea we waited for my dear cousins until bout 9.30... and i was starving...

But never mind... i would say that the wait was worthwhile...

Because... there was not only pizza and cake and duck...yea duck =.='...

There was also... two nice tubs of BR...

mmm... mocha... hazelnut... chocolate... strawberry cheese...haih... the taste still lingers in my mouth... the aroma... i still wannnnnn...T_T

after makan so many thing... we all also damn full liao... so it was time for our... er... dessert...XD

1...2...3...

this was ok... wasn't that strong...

this was erm... quite strong... but i managed...

but this...this was the bomb... literally...

pure evil... just three tiny sips...

and...

turned instantly... to...----->

maroon madness...XD... my alcohol tolerance is quite low i would say... but i've nv been drunk so far... XD feel like getting drunk for once...

.

Apparently absinth is banned in malaysia... i have no idea how the heck he smugg... erm... thought of a way to bring it back from ukraine... lolx...

plain A-W-E-S-O-M-E-N-E-S-S... thats the way u spell it...

with a blue flame... and thats the way u serve it...........

and im... absinthlutely addicted...

Chill-Lah

Eats er sat ter dey an eats er boar ink dey. Sow eye haff dee sided two ant ter er pose inn Chill-Lah style. Eve yew haff bin aye bell two ant the stan de cent turns a buff, den eye gas yew shoot no watt ease Chill-Lah style bye now.

Yew guise may bee thing king dad eye am salt salt all ray dee. Baht late mee tale yew sum think, eve yew can right er stow ree future rink dees style, dare ease cash two bee one... yesss... CASH!!

I so feel like winning some cash now... cos I'm broke... so if you guys come up with any nice stories... yea the story must feature Nescafe Chilled Coffee cans lah... please tell me ASAP... and we can be on our way to win fabulous prizes... =)

the cash...? yea I'll share... =_="

Just Me

I'm a freaking lazy bum. An understatement.

Feats (which I'm obviously not proud of...)

1) I didn't do my homework. 3 years in a row.

2) I don't eat breakfast. Just because I'm too lazy to heat it up.

3) I don't go to bed to sleep. I wait for the bed to come to me.

4) I've tried not bathing for 5 days. During the holidays of course.

5) I attempt to speak with minimal usage of facial muscles.

6) I've tried sleeping for 24 hours. At least.

7) When the alarm rings in the morning, I don't bother to turn it off. I just continue my slumber...zzz...(with the alarm ringing...)

8) When I was young, I was too lazy to swallow my food so I left it in my mouth till the next morning. Gross.

9) I do not turn off my PC because I hate to switch it on.

10) I'm sick.

17 Again

What if you were given a chance to live your life again... would you live it the same way you did... or would you rather stroll down another path...

Alright, to be 17 again doesn't really make sense for me... I am 17. So erm... maybe 7 again?

Ok, I'm 7 now. Should i attend the same primary school that I did? Er... no I won't. Oh yeah, I shall go to some international school which has great reputation (which i won't really care...I'm 7 remember?) . And I shall... shall... take up some athletics to be great...or at least good... in sports. Erm... just let me be able to kick a ball. No more slacking, I shall tell myself. This time, I shall spend my time wisely. I shall not let time waste away anymore. And yes, this time I shall put some effort in studying for all my tests and examinations which i had not done so previously. Yea it's true I basically did no revision during the first four years of my formal education. And with that I shall achieve a full score for the USPR or whatever it's called (i hope so). Being unable to obtain all As in this examination has always been one of my regrets in life.

Hmm... I should be around 13 by now. Btw I will not skip standard 4 again even if I were given the chance to do so. It sucks. Alright, it would be secondary education for me by then. Secondary school, an important milestone. Many things to accomplish. Many priorities to set. And this time I shall do them right. Secondary life is short. So what more can I do besides getting involved in the right activities and the right company... And when it ends, it will be such a memorable experience (unlike now definitely...) . Next would be college life. Despite being short, it has been one of my most unforgettable periods and I will only strive to make it better.

The above two paragraphs are just a whole load of bull. There won't be a crazy janitor smiling at you and giving you a second chance to live all over again. Even if there was, chances is that you would live it the same way as before. It isn't uncommon for one to occasionally think back and reflect on one's journey of life so far. But for those who constantly dwell in memories of the past, thinking of 'what would have happened if i had done this?' or 'what would have happened if had not done that?', and thus live in regrets, get a move on.

No mistake done is ever too big to make up for. It's never the end of the world if you make an effort to change for the better.

"Keep the faith, Keep your faith"

在意

「在意」的這種心情，往往是愛戀一開始正曖昧的時候。
摸不清楚自己對對方的感情，是喜歡？或是一般朋友的親切感？然而，在腦海中卻又揮不去他的身影，總莫名其妙地，會想起你的一切一切。
如果有一天，我們在路上重逢，而我告訴你：「我現在很幸福。」我一定是偽裝的。如果只能夠跟你重逢，而不是在一起共同生活。那怎麼會幸福呢？告訴你我很幸福，只是不想讓你知道其實我很傷心罷了。

ADV: The Sumsing Turbo 3000 XI Multitask

Please, please stop bragging about how good and how pro and how geng the iPhone is.

I bet, that you guys have absolutely no idea what this little wonder is capable of doing.

This, the Sumsing Turbo 3000 XI Multitask, is equipped with built-in functions that you never would have imagined in your wildest dreams. (ok this is getting a little far-fetched)

To purchase or to further enquire about this new product, you can contact me via email. Shaun@live.com.my

p.s. this whole thing was just a joke and i never use that email address. Please don't sue me...

The Trend...

I met one of my cousins at my granma's funeral. When I was chatting with him, something caught my attention.

It was this pair of jeans that he was wearing. Not only was it baggy and long, it was sooooo loose that he had to pull it up every now and then. Talk a while... pull right side... talk a while... pull left side... talk a while... pull both sides...

Getting slightly irritated, I plucked up my courage and asked him, "Is your jeans a bit tooooo loose... or is it the trend?"

And he replied, " Yea it IS a bit too loose... but it's ALSO the trend..."

"......................................................................."

After the Sunset...

Note: This post is specially dedicated to the memory of my grandmother...

It feels like it was only yesterday, when we were celebrating mothers day with you. I can still remember your smile, your laughter, your face...

It was right here, outside your house in malacca, where you said 'bye bye... study hard ar...' like you always did, and i waved and said 'goodbye...' like I always did but... never had I imagined, that 'goodbye...' was 'goodbye...forever...'

Back then, you would sit on the sofa, telling my mom 'wa... shaun very tall already ar... study very pandai ar...' and i would be smiling and thinking to myself, 'I havent increased in height for quite some time d leh... haha...' but I could have told you, this had never failed to brighten my day.

Yet now you lie here, no more chattering, no more cackling. You look as though you were only asleep. But I know, that this sleep... will be eternal.

It hurts, trying to make myself believe the fact that you will never wake up again, when you look like you would wake up anytime and call my name or give me a pat on the head.

.

It pains, to see you smile so benignly yet knowing that you can share your joy with us no longer. However, deep down I am grateful to God for the fact that you are at bliss now, and free from all worldly suffering.

Thinking back, I realized that i havent given you anyt gifts before over the years. Well... if i were to give one now... it shouldnt be too late right? haha... Alright... heres my first... and sadly my one last gift for you...

Nice ma? haha... it was from my own garden. To some, flowers are depicted as symbols of life and impermenance. After blooming into its most beautiful, it will slowly wilt and fade away.

.

Hence with this gift, i wish you eternal bliss and eternal life. Well of course you could just put it up in ur hair... I know you enjoy being beautiful. Have i ever told you that youre the most beautiful granma... well you are... XD

.

Parting is hard... but it is a lesson that we must learn. Please worry about us no more... rest well for now...

.

Bon voyage... we will meet again someday =)

.

p.s. malacca... will never be the same...

What the FUCK?!?!?!?

WARNING: Obscene material below... Please make sure that no one is around other than you... The site will bear no responsibility for any undesired consequences...

.

.

okok... i was just kidding... awrite dun get mad at me... chillax... i was jus gettin over-hyped up... cos i just found another damn bloody fuckin reason to say 'WHAT THE FUCK?'

(this excerpt was taken from pg 32 The Star 13 July 2009)

So my efforts in creatin a dictionary of choice swear words werent in vain... XD

From now on... whenever some fucker curses or swears at you... please understand that he/she is in great pain or agony... and...you should do your best to... ease them of their suffering... try patting or stroking their head... may work perhaps?

And when you unfortunately kena rotan by teachers... you could use swearing as a way to relieve the pain... im sure it will work... (remember to throw the words right into their face...) XD

.

.

.

I'm not me...

today's a sunday...

instead of lazing around...

i went to some charity centre in bandar puteri...

to...

to...

to...make birthday cards for orphans and the elderly...

(=.=...OMG wats wrong with me...)

this just isn't me...

imagine me... shaun... sitting down on the floor...

making funny little cards with little children...

zzz... i just feel like puking at the thought of it...

but i...

i... made the cards...

but dunno la...

i think all PHAIL...

i seni fail punya they ask me make cards... zzz...

having absolutely no idea on how to make them...

i did the best thing anyone with no sense of art would do...

...

i pasted a MICKEY MOUSE on all my cards...

i know im such a genius...

hehe...

i guess im gonna have wet...i mean...sweet dreams of dear mickey tonight...

...

good...good...night...

some of the cards that were made...

yea its dear mickey there... and yes im the ingenius artist who designed it...

...

i know phail laaa...