lIf you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
lYou were looking good from afar.. now you're far from looking good.
lLearn from your parents' mistakes, use birth control!
lThe universe is laughing behind your back.
lThose of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.
lHonesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.
lI'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
lA positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
lLove your enemies.. it pisses them off.
lThe human race is lucky I'm a nice guy, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now.
lA paper should be like a mini skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.
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